An introduction ..... by Alex

When I look back on my childhood, I realize that my idiosyncrasies and my inherited personality traits caused my life to be much more intense than was ever necessary. The intensity was not the result of personal strife, but rather the lack thereof, and in turn sprouted an ambitious young girl whose sights were set so high that it never took much of a disappointment to send her plummeting into the depths of despair. Looking back, I hate to consider what position I would find myself in now, had my parents not been the loving, supportive, kind people, who above all placed their children first.

Imagine my dismay when fresh out of college, I took the job of a weekend nanny and heard a mother of four ask me to get her children away from her. Or when I quietly stood around the corner listening to this woman tell her six year old that she was disgusting and that her hair was ugly.

In all my life, I have encountered many pairs of parents - the majority of which worked two jobs, lived fairly, happily and loyally. Most treated their children as treasures or at least as the small interesting people that through biology became vital to their adult existence.

I remember going to school with a few children who showed up with mysterious bruises, but I also grew up in a geographic region where the occasional belt, switch or smack was bordering on acceptable. And this was the 1980s, prior to the raging campaigns in which child abuse was repainted as something more subtle than throwing your child down the stairs.

To realize that here in this small, wealthy town I inhabited, there was a family of four children, whose divorced mother in all her riches couldn’t find it inside herself to love the precious beings before her. Who despite all attempts, couldn’t really get it together enough to convince even her family members that the needs of her children came before her need for a nap. And that ultimately, the only motivating factors in her existence came from men, money and vanity.

Time and again, we’ve heard that money can’t buy happiness. The majority of us find it hard to believe.

This is the story that will change your mind. This is the story of four small children whose privilege of economics weighs heavier than they could ever possibly understand. This is the story of the outsiders who chose to see the display of normalcy and the insiders who knew anything but. And this is the story of how many upstanding adults could coolly turn their heads to the pleas and desperation of those children.

April 2005 emails between Chelsea & Marge

APRIL 2005
Subject: POSTMASTER/mail
Date: 4/6/2005 9:28:02 A.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: wildcat69@aol.com
To: luv2nap@aol.com

I spoke with the postmaster regarding my missing mail. He advised me he would speak specifically with your carrier to try to be more careful in differentiating between Chelsea Vanderkeller and Marge Muttleson. However, at present I have yet to receive a single piece of forwarded mail from you and I am missing mail. You advised me that you would forward the mail. If you are for whatever reason-unable to do this, please let me know and I will send someone to retrieve it.

Thank you & Best wishes,
Chelsea


Subject: OXFORD
Date: 4/6/2005 4:50:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: wildcat69@aol.com
To: luv2nap@aol.com

It has been brought to my attention that my Oxford Health Insurance has been terminated as of 1/30/05. As you are well aware, I was directed to fill out a termination form that would have continued my coverage for three months at your expense. Despite the fact that I filled out this form, Oxford was supplied a fictitious and fraudulent document that states my last day of employment as January 30, 2005. I don’t know what your motivation was for doing this, but given the fact that there are many witnesses to my employment, as well as paychecks dated after your incorrectly stated “termination” date, I have no choice but to take action. Your cruel and destructive actions are perplexing. I have tried to maintain empathy for you and your "situation". I lived alongside you for eight years and I remember happier times. There are four small children entrusted to your care which weighs heavily on me with the realization that this did not evolve naturally. Maybe -if you sought counseling-you would feel better?

Subject: Re: OXFORD
Date: 4/6/2005 6:19:25 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: luv2nap@aol.com
To: wildcat69@aol.com

I was suprised to learn that Oxford had terminated your insurance as of 1/30/05. Your resignation was effective at the end of March 2005. I never agreed to pay an additional 3 months of premiums for your insurance coverage. I will call my representative tomorrow to make sure that Oxford knows that I was covering you through the end of March 2005. I was shocked to read the second part of your email. You have some nerve characterizing my behavior. What worries me the most is that you don't see your own flaws and that you always seem to blame others for your own enormous problems. I hope you are continuing with your own counseling as I see you still really need it desparately.


Subject: re://
Date: 4/6/2005 8:55:34 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: wildcat69@aol.com
To: luv2nap@aol.com

You (who needed to go and be professionally prepared by a NYC specialist to "appear normal" before meeting with the forensic psychologist) and rely not on therapy -but on endless pharmaceuticals to monitor your mood and prevent you from the very act of drinking... With all due respect; you are not the person I would seek therapeutic advisement from. I knew you could be mean. But don't you possess the natural instinct to protect your children? Whatever your reasons for choosing to make me your "enemy" or the "target of your wrath", they don't need to feel or hear or be a part of the ugliness. What are you teaching your children but hate and misery?

((And with this I had to block her from emailing me anymore. She’s unstable. Although having me to direct all her self loathing, anger and dysfunction at- , she is likely thriving))

((and then I felt bad and not unlike her. And that repulsive feeling lead to this:))

Subject: apology
Date: 4/10/2005 3:41:11 P.M. Eastern Standard Time
From: wildcat69@aol.com
To: luv2nap@aol.com

Marge,

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the nasty response I wrote you. I attempted to un send it but you had already read it. Writing such an intentionally mean letter felt good for about one minute. And I have felt regret and terrible ever since.I also wanted to tell you again, that I am sorry for whatever action or actions brought you to change how you felt about me. I wish I knew what it was. I am truly sorry.As for "my enormous problems". I never kept from you any of my problems or problem thinking or anal tendencies. I never presented myself as anything but a flawed individual. I have problems. Everyone has problems. And yes I would have loved to continue in therapy-however that isn't a possibility.It bothers me to think that you are thriving on having these horrible feelings for and about me. My "horrible" feelings are in response to the hurt that I feel for actions I don't understand. And I don't want to carry them with me. It isn't peaceful. As for going to Aspen with Claude- I saw that as an opportunity to see the children again. I was advised that I would never see or talk to the children again after I left your house. If you step back from all of the "nonsense". Just imagine how such a pronouncement would effect me. We stood together and told the children that I would still see them and they would still see me- that I could visit. And there is nothing I could have ever done to you that would warrant you cutting the children off from me. I cannot imagine how anyone could suggest such a thing to you or how it could be rationalized.We shared so much! And yes unfortunately- the past months were riddled with bad feelings. I don't think the past 4-5 months defines "our history". I was contacted by someone in the area who asked me to go and work with them around Thanksgiving. After much thought, I decided that perhaps to preserve our relationship and leave on good terms, I should leave and I gave you a resignation. Did I want to leave? Of course not. A part of me would never want to leave. You were so nice when we spoke and you wrote such a nice letter asking me to stay- and after all- didn't we both know I didn't want to leave? Of course I wanted to believe that we would be moving forward in a positive way.And although I do think leaving was a good thing, I was not prepared. And for whatever reason, you seemed to go out of your way to be as hurtful as you could. I didn't just work for you for eight years. I gave everything I had to you and your children and your home. For the life of me I cannot imagine how it came to this. And as sorry as I am for my role in all of this, it still wasn't the right way to handle things. I think in your heart you know that.For things to be so awful between us must be beneficial to someone, but so that you know- it is not beneficial to me. I am not looking for an enemy or someone to wish harm upon (and if I were- it would never be the mother of Jeremy, Brad, Chauncy and Julia). After I wrote that last email to you, I immediately took you off of my buddy list and blocked you from writing me. But even this weekend as I was online I saw something and I thought "Oh I should send this to Marge".My point in writing to you is to apologize for the nasty email I sent you. That was unkind & I feel terrible about having written it.I really did everything in my power to be as kind as I could until that moment. And for a reason. I always thought it would be far better if you were out there "rooting for me" instead of against me.(?). I wish you only great things & happiness. It would be of comfort to know that you wished the same for me. I don't need Jenna Black to facilitate anything for me. It would mean a lot to me if we could get together for lunch or something. I realize that this is probably the last thing you would want -but I sincerely extend the offer because the last thing I want are bad feelings between you and I. Our shared experiences represent some of the children's best and happiest memories and while I am aware they will have many more- eight years alongside another person as partner, friend, coparent, in the same house- is significant to me. And to lose that person that I believed in for so long- is of course a tremendous loss.

Again, I apologize for any hurt I have caused in your life and I wish you the very best.

Sincerely,
Chelsea
555 Serendipity Court
Greenwich CT 06830
914 555-5555203 555-5555

"Good Bye"

Marge left this for me on the counter in the kitchen. She lacked even the decency to hand me the card. Although the card reads nicely enough, it was not at all aligned with the truth. I had been warned by more than one person that Marge would not be allowing me anywhere near her house or the kids. Specifically I was told "If Marge and Biff wanted you to know what went on in that house, she wouldn't be firing you". And after eight years of tireless devotion to all things Marge and thinking of her children before anything or anyone else, Marge kicked me out and left me to scurry for a vehicle and a place to live on the street with a hideous and insulting severence check. Yes, it made me wish I had left her lying in a puddle of her own vomit at the bottom of the stairs after drunky the bitch ass clown took a midnight tumble down a flight of stairs and I found her bare ass splayed all over the marble tile. But only for a moment. Because I am not the C R A Z Y one. Check the medical files.

The Surpise Party Chelsea planned for Margaret in Nantucket

Nantucket

The Fundraiser Summer 2004

Biff- The Opportunist in a Boyfriend suit

Not that Marge was ever going to seriously date
someone she met online. I had gone so far as
to find her a wealthy, boat owning, Jewish male who
owned a vacation home where we spent the last two
weeks of every summer. Even as he im'd her and
attempted an im conversation before meeting out-
she called me to her side saying "Oh I just can't"
I spent three nights iming him for her. Not just typing
what she requested, but thinking up interesting things
to say. In the end, she blew him off entirely and never
even met him in person. She waited for someone to
literally drop a man in her lap and eventually someone did just that. Maybe this individual is kind and well
intentioned, but I've never heard a positive word about
him from anyone other than Marge.